praying for a miracle.

so there i sat, on my bedroom floor. no one home to hear the cries i let out so loudly. tears streaming down my neck and landing on the damp pages of the bible in my lap. i begged and pleaded with God to give me some kind of sign, some reassurance that he was there, listening. that he could hear me. i told Him, i'm aware that religion is supposed to be based on belief and faith. but it is difficult to have faith after everything I'd been through. all signs pointed to solitude. everything in me told me to only trust in myself. but here i was, talking to the ceiling, begging for help, for strength. and for the first time, i didn't feel silly. there was this feeling inside of me, as if i wasn't talking to myself. as if someone else was listening. i almost didn't want to close the book and get on with my day. there was a comfort about it. a warmth. i felt safe. and as i looked down at the page open in front of me, i seen the passage number 24, the birthday of my passed brother. something told me to flip forward to number 27, my birthday, and the anniversary of my passed grandmother. i read through passage 27:14 from Isiah, the book of David. and the very last line of the passage read - "wait for the Lord. be strong. open your heart and feel courage. wait for the Lord.". i let out a deep sigh as my eyes filled with tears, and took this to be my sign. i came to my knees and scrambled for a pen in the drawer above my head, and carefully highlighted over those words and folded the page. i closed the book. placed my hand on top, looked to the sky, and smiled. then i said aloud - "God hears me. God is good". and so to anyone struggling, i want you to know, that even if he doesn't show it, God hears you. He is listening. He loves you. have faith in Him.