bpd.

bpd. living with these three stupid letters attached to you is draining. but to be honest, i think pretending it doesn't affect you is even worse. i know im bitch. and i know i don't show it, but i like you. i do. and i know to you it doesn't mean much, you'll just want to take it slow, see how things go, and that's fine. but to me it’s more than that. it’s always going to be so much more than that. because when you have bpd, as soon as you find a new favourite person your brain is hardwired to love them unconditionally no matter what. you feel in extremes, so when you start to like someone, you develop attachment issues with them, you feel so strongly for them it physically hurts inside. you will love them no matter what, no matter how shitty they treat you, no matter how bad it hurts, you can't let go. and that. that is what's so draining. because when they fuck up, or leave — and everyone does — it shatters you, even if you pretend it doesn't. so no, i'm cutting this off before it goes any further. because i'd rather hate you than love you.