it was never your fault.

as a child you were told "if they make fun of you, it's only because they secretly like you". it's not your fault. this explains a lot for your actions. in every relationship you seeked some kind of disrespect. this kind of treatment you believed was normal. kindness always felt like a trick. healthy seemed almost unnatural. it's not your fault you were so drawn to the toxicity you believed was love all along. the pain was supposed to be pretend, because you believed they never truly meant it. but when reality hit, so did the shattering heartbreak. but it's ok to heal now. to allow the pure kind of love. i promise, it will feel different. you will know when it's real. you were brainwashed. so don't beat yourself up. you never stood a chance. it was never your fault.