you owe me sleep

all those nights wasted laying awake, making up scenarios in my head, picturing the shape of your face, the shade of your dark walnut eyes, the way your hand felt in mine, the dimples in your cheeks, the pattern of your face that was so deeply engraved in my brain. you owe me sleep. so much time that was missed while i lay staring at you on facetime every night. singing random songs and having deep conversations at 5am. and when i finally drifted off after waiting for you to first so i didn't have to leave you, i was greeted by your hand awaiting mine in my dreams. we danced and kissed and i said all the things i was too scared to say to you out loud. then i'd wake up, searching my phone for your good morning message. i'd go about my day sleep deprived and drowning six shots of caffeine in my iced coffee, then followed by three red bulls, then i'd get home and await your usual call. because i didn't care how tired i was, but just that i got to talk to you. i got better, i was doing good, working harder, was happier. because of you. you made me all better. then when you left... i slipped straight back into that depression you pulled me out of. i lay in bed for weeks at a time, trying desperately to catch up on those hours you stole from me. you owe me sleep.